Hi guys ! Today I'm sick so I have time to make this journal.
Tons of news since I spent the holidays working. Comics, video, music... that was a busy summer.
First of all, today I'm making a present for the Whovians ! Anyone here ?CHECK IT OUT HERE !! (CLIQUE LA POUR LA VERSION FRANCAISE)
Last Christmas, was a really depressing one because of many family issues (that are still far from finished), so the Doctor Who Special episode on BBC1 made my day much better the evening. Mostly realizing that day and anxiety was over. Christmas is not only on the 25 of december, it's days of stress before that.
So I got really creative and imagined 2 Doctor Who stories. And my new year's resolution was to make those both as a training before starting my Forsaken Star serie. I really want to make amazing drawings and colors.
One is about christmas, so I'll release it on Christmas, and the other is also realeased on a special day for me. Today. 2 days I don't like, so I make big projects to think about something else.
I really hope you'll like it. Even if you're not a Whovian, let me know what you think about it.
And I'm also hoping that would go viral and get me tons of friends on Patreon, haha. Okay, okay, I can still dream, right ?? But as I lost 75% of feedback on my work after my facebook got deactivated, it got so hard for my projects. And morally. Months ago, I could have launched a paper comic and sold it. Now, I can't.
I spent a big part of my summer drawing this comic Parody ! I really had a great time drawing it trationally.
I'm often saying "I really needa try MangaStudio/Sai/cacaExpress/whatever", but I feel like I'm a bit bored of drawing on computer. Being on screen all the time. I like making colors, landscapes (for speedies) or vector art, but that doesn't feel the same with drawing. I don't like using a graphic tablet and my middle finger doesn't handle over 2 hours on it. I just think it's a bit sad to do ALL on a computer.
I'm quite happy with this. I mean, I like the story, that's probably one of my best scenarii. I really think I made progress in writing stories. (with all the time I spend watching series, reading book and at the cinema I hope !). Then the colors are quite as I wanted. Simple and quickly made with textures. Not over 1h30 per page to color. Then the drawings, that could get better, the events probably go too fast, that would maybe need more panels. But That's not too bad ! I'm not as perfectionnist as I used to on my comics. I don't want perfection but a great atmosphere, in a understandable story. And if the atmosphere is here, it is not something I'll want to draw again in 2 weeks. That's how I try to work now. And not only in comics.
Also, I made a promo video for my "I don't care I'm the drummer" Tshirt. I was encouraged by one of my favourite drummer when I had the chance to meet him so I was glad to make this video. That was again an amazing oportunity to experiment video and music. This is my first real recorded guitar, I spent so much time searching for the right guitar part.
I'm still a bit disapointed with the sound of the guitar and the visuals quality that doesn't always look HD even with the same camera so I needa work and get better at this.
I really love making videos, that's the best way I have to make music and visuals at the same time. That even "forced" me to buy a sound card to record voice and guitar, to play and learn more guitar, a bit of keyboard. Still needa work more on the keyboard but being such a jack of all trades and master of none is hard. There's so much to do !!
I'd dream to work making music video. My bassist friend often laughed during rehearsals because I was always saying "whoaa that would make a great clip !!". Step by step, I'm coming to it dude. Now, needa get rich and buy a reflex.
I'm also working on my Forsaken Summer (summer funny moments video), on a little animation for a project with my friend Kazer (check out his video here
). I'm really excited for this one !
Also on a longer version of my "Forsaken Rain"
, (probably to include in my Forsaken Star book pack) and on a little motion design to share my little Forsaken story throught an animated infographic. For months, I was like "I really should try to make a motion design video, I love motion design videos". So let's just shake our butts ! Videos, videos !! So exciting !! And I also have many other ideas.
I also made other comics, for tapastic and my blog (you can read those here
) but I also made 2 special comics for my shop.
Comics I'll send with every order on my website. It'll be personnalized. I'd love getting things like this in an order so I make it. I liked so much making it that now I really have to find a way to sell more on my website, so that many people will get that comic bonus !
Then, the designs for the next tees are in my head. I want to print 2 models. I also contacted some guys to make us great Forsaken Star labels. I will make special stickers for the collaboration with the printer. I love so much making all that. Now my biggest fear is that like the 2 last edition, I don't sell any. The last one was on preorder and I got 0 preorder. I was devastated.
This time, I'll probably print it anyway since I'm supposed to get money to support my project by my region . But if I don't sell any, that means the end of Forsaken Star. And hundreds of euros lost. I'm anxious about this...
But the other cool thing is that I'll bring them with me on concerts. We planned to make concerts, so Forsaken Star will be the merch. Playing and representing Forsaken Star ? Best evening I can imagine. Music > All
And the little daily challenge for august that you can follow on this facebook group
. My friends are doing an amazing job ! (and we're all late on this)
There are probably tons of other things but I don't want to spam you with all my shits.
That summer was the first without a "real job
" in about 5 years for me. For now, I survived. It sometimes felt long. Many would say "that's cool you have holidays this year". Yes, I was asked to go again to Manchester, to go to the North of France to see friends I haven't seen in years. But I couldn't because I was broke. I spent all the summer at home, almost didn't dare to go out because being out means temptation to use money. Not even having money to buy coke (the drink) and I miss it SO FUCKING MUCH. RAAAAAA. Being happy for the friends enjoying the summer is so hard. Such a lonely summer.
At the begining, I spent my days praying to find a job, watched all the job websites 3 times a day. Applied. Received many nos (as usual). Actually I received almost only nos. I prayed for 2 opportunities, the one that would allow me finnaly a real living ended up as a no just before my birthday. I had already imagined my life with this job, where I'd move and all that... Now, praying for the other.
I also made promotion for my freelance job. Because if I fail as a freelance, I have nothing. I mean, my freelance project is almost everything to me, it takes my nights, my free time, it's my hobby, I met awesome people throught this, I created and tried so many new things, had to go over my fear of speaking in public and meeting new people, I try to make it my daywork, ... it can't stop. This project is my life project.
But now I have to wait for that last answer. For that job to be a freelance music magazine designer. Such a dream ! PLEASE ANSWER YES OR I'LL BURN YOU OFFICE, YOUR EMPLOYEES, FAMILIES, AND ALL YOU HAVE.
And depress again for months.
It's just so so long. I'm sick of being stuck home. For 5 years, I have the feeling to spend my time waiting for something to come. Like a miracle. I want to go on vacations. I want to see new places like all the friends that keep talking about awesome locations they saw, showing me awesome picture. I'm working all the time. Don't I deserve that ? I just would like a job that allows me to have a real life instead of taking my money. I'm doing my best to become a real "positive thinker", to stop feeling sorry for all my issues. It's not easy ! My making of of the summer video will help me to focus on positive !
Luckily, that drawing challenge forced me to be creative since I made the challenge. I can't fail at something I create. Something people expect you to be good at. Guys, if you're desperate, make challenges !
That was the most depressing and creative summer I've ever had I guess. "la dépression est diluable dans le travail" as said Davy.
Please pray with me my friends. Okay, I'm kidding.
This journal has really come too far. On my b-day I tend to overthink everything. Even if that was an awesome weekend with my friends. (I can say that because the Muse show was a monday, haha).
I always feel better speaking on the internet than in real. Even knowing almost no-one reads it. I hope I've lost you before.